two worlds c o l l i d e ``MONIQUE

[monique bailey quentin]

She really couldn't believe that she just cave in and was giving him exactly what he wanted. To marry her. It went against everything she was, but she knew she wasn't ever going to win this argument, no matter how hard she tried, no matter how much she tried to prove her point that it was wrong, she would always end up losing and being more hurt and miserable than before. Monique really did wish that their parents would of at least listen to her pleas, to hear her side to know that doing, it wasn't going to turn out the way they hoped.

As soon as she heard his words, a tear slipped out of her eyes and it caused her to tense. She couldn't of heard him right, there was no way this man, who for months had kept arguing with her, demanding her that she will marry him was now the one to cave in as well. Swallowing a lump in her throat, Mona turned around to face him, but instead saw his back "Wh--What?" she was shocked, of course, even though him saying that, it didn't make it true. She knew her parents and his all to well to know that they wouldn't go for it. They still keep the wedding on "J--Jeremy you know it isn't as easy as just saying it." she told him "Besides, I'm giving you what you want. Marrying you. I'm tired of arguing when I'm not going to win. You've wanted this for months, so now you've got it."

[jeremy roger hills]

Jeremy worked on steadying his breathing as he let his arms fall, then replaced them to cross in front of his chest protectively. It was a subconscious move that he made, feeling his heart really beginning to break for the first time. He realized how much he really did want to marry Monique. She wasn't just some prize he wanted to claim as his own, other than his predatorial instincts that wanted exactly that. Jeremy heard her stuttered questioning voice and he let his head drop.

Hearing her excuses now made Jeremy want to instantly take back his giving in. But he kept his mouth shut and remembered exactly why he had decided to surrender, even after she had done so. Swallowing, he began to feel sick with regret and worry, wondering exactly what would happen after it all blew over and they straightened everything with their parents. He had never had much luck with girls in the first place, which was why he expected his parents had even planned his marriage in the first place. But when Monique neared the end of her stuttering, Jeremy couldn't take it anymore. He moved to her as she finished speaking quickly, his head still down, and took her face firmly but still gently in his hands. He head rose to meet her eyes, all the hurt and anguish showing in them more than ever. And she wouldn't swat away his hands this time: he loved her too much.

"I'd rather be miserable without you than you would be with me."

[monique bailey quentin]

Mona watched as he moved closer to her, to stand close in front of her. She resisted the urge to slap his hands away as he took her face into them, in a gentle but firm way. She stared up into eyes that showed her that he was hurt by this and she felt confused at to why he would be. It didn't really make sense, unless of course, he really did care about her and that maybe deep inside he did want to marry her and not just because he was being forced into doing so.

Of course, as the words left his mouth, Monique felt her breath catch in her throat as she stared up at him. She felt so confused that she really was a bit speechless for a few moments. She couldn't help but feel a bit vulnerable standing like this and the buried part of her that had ever felt any kind of loving emotion towards Jeremy, was starting to surface and the woman did her best to just shove it away. There was no way she would allow herself to feel that way towards him, but when she was confused and he acted like this..well, Mona really didn't know what to think "I.." she cut herself off as she let out a small sigh and closed her eyes for a moment before opening them to look back up at Jeremy.

"I really don't know what to say. You are really confusing me right now." she told him, letting the confusion show plainly on her face and eyes "One minute you are threatening me that I will marry you and the next you are...Well, you are acting like this." though, deep down, Mona could say that she rather enjoyed seeing this side of him. A caring side. It touched something deep down inside of her that had been buried long time ago.

[jeremy roger hills]

Jeremy's eyes averted away from Monique and to the floor, again. He released her face and began to move away when he heard her speak. Monique stated that he was confusing her and Jeremy stayed staring downward, listening to her spoken thoughts. She sounded almost as if she was torn. The sound in her voice finally made Jeremy look up into her eyes again. The confusion was plain as day on her face and it just seemed to yell her indecision. His eyebrows furrowed a moment as he studied her from a couple feet away.

What was going on with her? Couldn't she just believe him and accept it and move on? It was like she was denying that he was legitimately giving in for good. Or just plainly not believing him. How could he prove that he really did love her more than his obssession with her? He didn't even know the answer himself, but he decided he just needed to do something that might change her mind, and quick. She was at a vulnerable state.

So Jeremy just did what he had always wanted to do with Monique since they were engaged. Almost a bit quickly, but not so much, he took hold of one side of her face with one hand and the other went around her to take her whole waist in his arm. He didn't grip so much that she wouldn't be able to push her way out of it if she wanted to. At least he would have one second of a kiss before she did so.

And, leaning down, Jeremy connected his lips to hers, so softly and yet so desperately.

[monique bailey quentin]

She didn't know why, but when he had let his hands drop away from her face and walk a bit away from her, Mona felt as if she was cold. She couldn't for the life of her think of why she was acting this way. The old feeling she had once felt for this man couldn't be coming to live before of one mere simple act that he was giving in and not going to force her to marry him. She knew it just wasn't that simple and by tomorrow afternoon, they'd be back at each others throats because the wedding would still be on.

But still, she felt a coldness come over her. Monique stared back at him, though, as he stood a couple feet away from her. A part of her wished that she knew what was going through his mind right now. Maybe all of this was just a trick, but the look in his eyes, she didn't know why, but she felt that it was true and real. That the hurt inside of them was how he is truly feeling and it tore at her deep inside.

When a bit of silence seemed to fall between them, Monique was going to force herself to tell him she was leaving, but she stood frozen as she watched him move back to her. She felt the warmth of his hand at the side of her face and his other arm wrapping around her waist to hold her to him. Then she felt the warmth of his lips pressing down against her own, desperate but yet soft. And before she could stop herself, Mona was kissing him back, her eyes fluttering shut as she wrapped her arms around his neck. In a matter of seconds, she felt the world around her crumble and fall, she felt the wall deep inside of her break as she pushed herself up on her tip-toes to lean more into the kiss.

[jeremy roger hills]

As Jeremy kissed Monique, he could feel all the true emotions he felt for her pouring out of him, but he held as many back as he could, so as to not lose them all. He held her tightly to him and it only lasted a second or two before he realized what Monique herself was doing. It felt as if she was reciprocating into the kiss, contributing to it so that he was not the only one experiencing it. He couldn't help because release a bit more of himself and he held her a bit closer, taking the kissing to another level.

It became like such a high for Jeremy. He had never even imagined Monique allowing him to come within a foot of her, let alone letting him hold her the way he did. And he couldn't help but wonder exactly what she was thinking and felt as she did this. Did she really feel this way, felt a sort of pulling to kiss him back, that she really maybe had feelings for him as he did her? The questions nagged at him, almost taking him away from her, but he forced himself back to her.

Jeremy had to break away from the kiss then; his notrils just weren't supporting him well enough as far as breathing went. As soon as their lips parted, his breathing came out in heavy inhales and exhales, and his head immediately dropped. His mind had to catch up again to realize that he had actually kissed Monique, and that she kissed him back. It was so unbelievable that he looked up at Monique with almost a slight questioning look in his eyes. But he didn't want to actually question why she did it - he knew that would be awkward and weird for her.

Jeremy, though, could not help the smile that spread across his face as he breathed out one short, breathy laugh.

[monique bailey quentin]

This felt like a dream, one that she had many times when she had been a bit younger and had actually been in love with Jeremy and had always wondered what it'd be like to kiss this man and feel the actual caring warmth of his arms and hands on her. And here the girl was, experiencing it right now and she like she was going to explode. Whether from excitement or confusion. It was all to much, really.

When he broke a part, Mona gasped slightly for air, as she realized she didn't really allow herself to breath during the whole thing. She opened her eyes and she felt breathless as she looked towards Jeremy. For a moment, he was staring down at the floor until he looked up at her with questioning eyes. It took her a moment to realize why he would be wanting to question her, when it hit her, Monique let her arms drop down away from his neck to rest lightly on his chest. She looked down between them at the floor and chewed her bottom lip.

"I--I shouldn't of done that.." she told him, meaning that she should of pushed him away and slapped him for it. Mona looked back up at him, with a bit of questioning eyes herself "You care about me?" part of her didn't even want to hear the answer to her, but another part of her did. If it was true, she wondered how long he had felt that way, did it happen before or after the time she had been in love with him.

[jeremy roger hills]

Jeremy just looked down at Monique as the small smile lingered on his face shortly. Though he still wasn't quite sure why she kissed him back with a sort of returned involvement. He tried to erase the questioning look in his eyes so Monique wouldn't see, but it was too late. She had most likely already caught it, for her next words hit Jeremy a bit harder than he expected. Monique spoke as if regretting kissing him. Chin immediately rising and arms dropping away from Mona, Jeremy's smile was wiped away.

As much as he wanted to back away from her, he still felt her hands on his chest and he didn't want them to leave their spot. So he kissed her, and she kissed back, and now she told him she shouldn't have? How confused was this girl getting? Jeremy could feel himself getting a bit frustrated but he attempted to cool it down and just take deep breaths.

Monique then asked if Jeremy really did care for her and he felt as if he instantly understood the meaning of her regret, though he still really didn't. She was still so confused that she didn't even know how he felt about her. Taking her face in his hands gently, again, he looked into her eyes for a few silent minutes, then spoke in a voice only above a whisper.

"Yes. And I love you more than anything." He then connected their lips for a small moment, very gently and very softly.

[monique bailey quentin]

There was a part of her that didn't like that his hands drop away from her, but he seemed to not make himself move away from her. She wondered for a brief moment why, but pushed it away. She shouldn't be here, doing any of this, she was in love with Ryan and she wanted to be with him and not Jeremy. God, why did he have to give in and put a stop to the whole marriage thing. Why did he have to go and change.

Now her mind was a jumble of emotions and she was so confused by all of them that she just felt completely vulnerable and exposed. What if she did something she would regret and find herself actually making a decision that she didn't want. God, why did this have to be confusing? But all thoughts ended up leaving her mind as she felt the warmth of his hands on her face as she looked up into those eyes of his and found her breathing catching at his words.

He loves me...? she really couldn't wrap her mind around it, as he began kissing her again. A very soft and very gentle kiss that just made her feel weak in the knees. Against her will, Mona found herself leaning back into him, and kissing him back. One hand moved to cup the side of his face, as the old emotions and feeling she felt towards Jeremy came surging to the surface, almost making her dizzy, making her feel even more weak in the knees.

[jeremy roger hills]

Jeremy kissed Monique with more subtle feelings than last time. It was more intimate, and almost more meaningful, in a way. It wasn't as rushed or desperate as their first, but more in depth and patient. Jeremy felt Monique's hand reach up to hold his face and he held her face a bit tighter. But then, he almost thought he felt her wobbling slightly, though he didn't know why. Whatever the reason, he released her face to quickly wrap wrap his arms around her waist, supporting her against him and slightly holding her up.

It was extremely odd and new for Jeremy to be kissing Mona the way he did. Then again, it was odd in itself that they were even kissing. He thought about the times when he had lusted after her, not even thinking about having a relationship with her that wouldn't be just physical, but pleasurable emotionally and mentally. He never even once imagined himself holding her, loving her, not even kissing her as intimately as they did now. It was a whole new experience.

So, when he broke it off a second time, not as harshly, he breathed steadily yet still a bit heavily. His eyes were still closed and he wanted to savor the moment, however long it lasted. Jeremy's mind began to fly to the possibility that Monique might not have returned his feelings but just was doing this out of pure pity. Even that was more than hatred. He only had his breathing, and the pounding of his heart.

[monique bailey quentin]

She could feel a small part of her mind screaming at her to get herself together and pull away from him. But Mona couldn't find the strength within her to pull away. Even as she felt his arms wrap around her waist, she knew it wouldn't work; she felt to weak in the knees to pull away and she was hating and loving every bit of this at the same time.

When he broke away again, she kept her eyes shut for a moment, as she bit down on her bottom lip, when she opened her eyes she stared straight at his chest and resisted the urge to sigh. Her hand cupping the side of his face fell back down to rest lightly on his chest and she knew right now would be the time to push away and just get herself out of this before it was too late. Mona make herself standing on her own, pushing her hands softly against his chest to push herself away from him. Monique let her hands drop to her side as she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry Jeremy.." she started out, showing apology in her eyes, as she reached to grab his arms and pull them from around her waist and let them drop to his side. Mona took a few steps back away from him as she looked up at him "I loved you once, but I buried those feelings a long time ago. Now.." the girl shakes her head some, letting out a small sigh "I don't even know anymore. I'm confused. And I have already found myself falling in love with someone else." she spoke the last few words softly, as she knew deep down it was going to hurt him to hear that she was actually in love with someone else.

[jeremy roger hills]

Jeremy was beyond words and emotions,= by now, that he only breathed, relishing the moment but still knowing it might end. He held on to Monique, never wanting to let her go, now that he finally had her. With his eyes still closed, he felt her hand touch his face lightly before being placed on his chest again. He sighed in through his nostrils, and opened his eyes.

But something was wrong with Monique. She still looked confused, but it was different now, and Jeremy couldn't figure out the other emotions. His eyebrows furrowed as he finally felt a small shove against his chest. Glancing down for a minute, then back up to Monique, Jeremy's face questioned her. She answered first with an apology, and her arms pushing away his from his hold on her. He almost protested but she spoke again. Monique rehashed a bit of their past with the fact that she had loved him once, but did not now. With still furrowed brows he watched her move back, his heart beginning to break again more and more. She didn't love him. And he was right: nothing that good could've lasted.

Swallowing a lump in his throat, he looked away momentarily, crossing his arms and still listening to Monique's words. She mentioned being confused, again, and he only sighed. Wasn't it simple enough that he loved her? If she could rehash the memories of the feeling of loving him, couldn't she bring back those emotions, as well? She was now making Jeremy confused and he didn't like it. He tried rubbing his eyes nonchalantly when she said something that caught his ear. He looked at her, his eyes beginning to already look a little red, and blinked. Did she say... she loved someone else? Jeremy looked at her in disbelief, still not able to fully comprehend it.

"You...love...somebody..."

[monique bailey quentin]

There was a part of her that knew she shouldn't of been telling Jeremy any of this. She knew it was only going to make things worst and she knew..she definitely knew..it was going to cause him more pain. Mona felt that if she still kept it a secret from him and when he did find out, and she felt that he would, it would just be ten times worse than it is right now.

"I--I don't even really know him. But I know what my heart tells me." she couldn't even look up at him anymore. Monique stared down at the floor between them, chewing nervously on her bottom lip and let out a quiet sigh "It's foolish really. He's a human and I'm a monster. I doubt he even see's me other than the girl that makes the good mochas, lattes and coffee at the cafe." she said a bit quietly. Mona had to close her eyes, as she felt them start to sting with unshed tears. Oh how she really didn't want to start crying in front of Jeremy. She already felt exposed and vulnerable to him as it was and crying was just going to make her feel even more vulnerable.

Opening her eyes, she glanced up at him slowly "It's one of the reasons I fought so hard against marrying you. But now.." she ran a hand through her hair and shook her head slightly "You just changed before my eyes in a matter of seconds. Now I feel my heart starting to go into two different ways." Mona looked away from him, looking down at the floor again "One way goes to you, the other goes towards Ryan." she mumbled.

[jeremy roger hills]

Jeremy felt the exhale rush out of him as he felt his chest starting to collapse. Monique purely pitied him, and that was it. She was already gone, as far as he knew. He had lost her, she had fallen in love with someone else, and he would be alone again. Jeremy didn't know how long it would take this time for him to heal before he could find someone else. It would be much too hard; he wondered if he could ever heal from Monique. Even though he could feel himself beginning to cave, he held back the emotions as much as he could.

It almost sounded as Monique was trying to make excuses for her infatuation, then, with the other man. As if she had been caught cheating when, in reality, Jeremy had been doing the same. Of course, though, he would never stoop that low to admit he had done so. Swallowing, he ran a hand through his hair as she did, though still looking away from her. He knew none of her words would matter, now. How could they? They were only pouring salt on the wound.

But then, she started speaking in that torn sort of tone of voice, again. She spoke as though she cared for Jeremy the way he thought she didn't. Although, it gave him a sort of thread of hope, he didn't want to depend on it. She could have pulled out the cover from under him, giving him a heartbreak wake-up call. And he definitely didn't want anymore of those. Turning slightly so that his full back faced her, he only turned his head to the side, so she could only see the profile of his face when he spoke. And, though he desperately tried keeping it out of his voice, Jeremy had a bit of lost hope in his voice, returning the question she had asked him previously.

"You care about me?"

[monique bailey quentin]

Monique really wasn't sure what Jeremy's response was going to be to those last words that she spoke to him. For all she knew, he could say that she was lying, that she was just trying to make him feel better. But she wasn't. Mona could feel those old buried feelings and emotions towards Jeremy coming alive inside of her again and all it had taken was for Jeremy to just give in himself to saying he was calling off the wedding. For him to show that he truly does care for her. It made her heart swell and she could still feel the warmth of his hands and lips on her. She was actually missing his extra warmth.

She stared towards his profile, at first, she just thought he was going to walk away from her. But he seemed to be looking back at her and the sound of his voice made a pain ache in the middle of her chest. Mona slowly nodded her head "I've always cared about you, Jeremy. Even if I never showed it. It's always been there." she admitted.