every time i close my eyes``monique

[jeremy roger hills]

outfit

Jeremy sighed deeply, breathing in the fresh summer air of his hometown, Nevermore. It felt absolutely wonderful coming back after being gone nearly two and a half months, doing some soul searching and whatnot. His mother and father's suggestion seemed to have done some good and now, Jeremy felt like a whole new man. As a lycan, he also felt different. More mature, more knowledgable. Almost thinking it was Nevermore itself that might have kept him in his immature ways, Jeremy considered not returning to his hometown. But one thing drew him back to the small, not-so-quiet town, and he could stay away no longer.

More than a thing, it was a person. And more than a person, it was a beautiful girl he had fallen in love with. During his time away, he was able to reflect on every memory he had with Monique and, though he hated to admit it, ninety percent of them were negative and full of hurt; and the good could not outweigh the bad by far. Jeremy knew he had to heal things. Even if Monique would not have him, he had to ask for her forgiveness. Walking, still, along the dirt road, Jeremy considered transforming to his wolf form to hurry to her, but the day was warm and comforting, and he wanted to enjoy it while it lasted.

[monique bailey quentin]

O U T F I T

Mona wandered a bit through the fields, until she found a lone tree and slumped down up against the trunk of it and leaned her head back against it some. She closed her eyes behind the sunglasses for a moment, as she took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Opening her eyes, Monique took off the sunglasses and looked down at her hand. Gah. Why did this have to happen? Why did she have to be forced again to marry someone she did not love nor want to be with. But what choice did she seem to have anymore? Her parents weren't going to give up and she was getting so tired of the yelling and the fighting between her and her parents. She was pretty much at a dead end in her life and she desperately wished she wasn't.

How was it that things went for a huge change in her life? First it was Jeremy to disappear, to take off for god only knows how long. She had felt they were starting to work things out, but maybe she was wrong. Then the human Ryan, the one she had found herself falling in love with, seemed to not be around much more either. She never saw him anymore at the cafe and she guessed that was for the best as well. Maybe he found a human girl to be with, it was the safe and best way for him.

Sighing softly, Mona looked away from the ring and leaned her head back against the tree again, closing her eyes as she felt the sting of tears burning at the back of her eyes. If only she could just disappear. Then she wouldn't have to worry about being forced to marry someone. To try and make everyone happy when deep inside, she is broken into pieces and crying out for help.

[jeremy roger hills]

Jeremy considered putting out his hand in the gesture of a hitchhiker when he felt his legs might fall off, but he pressed on. Besides, he only saw a car every one in a while. Shifting the pack on his right shoulder to his left, Jeremy looked up from his feet to look at the sky and further away trees that seemed to surround him endlessly. The songs of birds was a small, sweet background noise as she soundtrack of his walk and the wind often filled his ears with their blowing cacophonous sound. And in the beauty of nature, he found his thoughts still dwelling on the beautiful face of Monique Quentin.

Kicking up pebbles and dirt off the road in boredom, Jeremy gazed around himself and into the trees. At glance, his eyes quickly scanned over them, but he found himself double-taking when he thought he saw something near the bottom of the trunk of one tree. Focusing on it, he realized it was a person, sitting down, resting against the tree, and he removed his sunglasses. He squinted from the glare of the sun and tried seeing the person better, attempting to recognize what he now realized was a girl. And when he found her face too familiar, he completely stopped walking, his heart pounding, holding his breath as if his next exhale may blow her away like a mirage in the wind.

[monique bailey quentin]

Taking in a deep breath, Mona stopped mid-way of exhaling as a scent that wasn't apart of the nature around her, but one that she knew too well and one she had missed deeply. Opening her eyes and still slightly holding her breath, her blue eyes scanned the area before they laid upon the figure of a man, stopped in his tracks. Could it actually be Jeremy? Could he really be back? Or was she starting to losing her mind and was smelling and seeing things that weren't even there. God help me if I'm losing my mind.. she thought before she let the breath out and slowly inhaled once more. The scent was still there. She blinked a few times and the man was still standing there.

Slowly, Monique stood up and just sort of stood there. There was a part of her that wanted to run to him, to wrap her arms around him and inhale that scent of his that she had missed so much. He was too familiar for her, and she knew deep down that she loved him still, even if she hated the hell out of him for so long. But a slight pain ached inside of her at the thought that maybe he didn't want to see her. Maybe he just didn't feel that way towards her that she hoped he would. Mona had wondered a bit as to why he left, had it been because of her? Did she drive him away because she wouldn't marry him? She didn't know the answer, but she wanted to know. But she was scared.

Before she even knew it, Monique found her legs moving and walking slowly towards Jeremy. A curious look to her eyes and..a bit of longing.

[jeremy roger hills]

When Jeremy could no longer hold his breath, he prayed a quick prayer that she may, in fact, be real. His heart pounded as soon as he exhaled, realizing that the beautiful girl he missed so much was there. Only hundreds of yards away. The backpack had slipped from his shoulder to his hand, and his hand to the ground. She was looking at him as well and now stood and now began walking towards him. Jeremy could immediately feel the pull of himself towards her and his feet began moving, as if they were magnets and could go no place else but to each other.

As this happened, Jeremy's mind slightly wandered to his last feelings for Monique before he left so abruptly. His heart had ached, and in some ways still did. But he was more at peace with Mona's decisions and got over the regret that had so strangled his life with a chokehold only his soul searching could remove. Without thinking any further then, Jeremy could feel himself being tugged harder and found himself jogging, running, sprinting towards the girl he loved.

[monique bailey quentin]

Mona felt her heart racing, almost as if it were going to burst right from her chest. She felt her breathing become heavier and she felt those familiar nervous butterflies in her stomach as she continued to walk towards the familiar figure that was getting closer. She realized though that the figure was getting closer, seeing as he was moving towards her as well. She really did feel her heart speed up a bit more. God, how she hoped that this was all real and she wasn't going to wake up, laying there under the tree she was just under.

After a few seconds of walking, she found herself almost running towards Jeremy, before the distance between them was closed as her arms found their way around his neck and her face buried itself in the nook of his neck. Mona held on as if she let go, he'd just disappear, her eyes clenched shut tightly, for fear that if she opened them, it'd all of been a dream, nothing but air would be there "P-p-please be real." she said softly, a bit breathlessly.

[jeremy roger hills]

Jeremy at this point knew that Monique was, in fact, really there and now really running towards him as well. Though it all of course felt so surreal, he knew this wasn't a dreams. His dreams weren't so wonderful and vivid as this. Soon, he found himself clutching her in his embrace as she did the same, her small, delicate arms wrapping up and around his neck. For Jeremy, the moment lasted a lifetime and time stood still as they were reunited in one large, affectionate embrace. After a few seconds, Jeremy was aware that Mona was now whispering very quietly a wish that what was happening was real.

Hearing this, Jeremy could no longer hold himself back and he let all the negative memories and past experiences of them two ebb away and let the present be the only thing that mattered. Backing out of their hug slightly, he removed his hands from her waist and placed them gently on either side of Monique's face. Slowly, savoring the very real moment, he leaned in and closed the gap between their lips. It was a short, sweet kiss and after backing out of it, he smiled a small smile and asked in a small chuckling voice, "Was that real enough for you?"

[monique bailey quentin]

Monique looked up at him when he pulled away just enough to look down at her. She loved the warming feel of his hands as they framed her face. And when she felt his lips press down against her own, Mona couldn't help but to close her eyes and kiss him back. Though it lasted only a short moment, she felt breathless as if it lasted forever. Mona slowly opened her eyes and found a smiling Jeremy staring down at her. She couldn't help but to laugh and smiled back as she hugged him once more "Oh god. I cannot believe you are back." she breathed against his neck.

After a moment, Mona pulled back, but still found that her arms did not want to leave from around his neck. She bit down gently on her bottom lip as she stared up at him, still not believing that he was here. And the one question that had kept bugging her mind came to her lips before she could even stop herself "Why did you ever leave? Was it because of me?"

[jeremy roger hills]

Jeremy chuckled a bit more as Monique pulled him back into an embrace and he wrapped his arms around her waist once again. Her whisper against his neck almost made him shudder with a tickling sensation. He smiled and all he did was remove his chin from resting on her shoulder to replace it with his lips resting there. For a short moment he tightened his embrace with a short squeeze and Monique pulled away to look at him and potentially ask something. He was ready to answer almost anything she asked. He stared her back in her deep dark eyes until she finally asked him.

But hearing the question, Jeremy was taken aback by her boldness, just one of the many reasons he loved her. Before he deliberated the answer of the question, he wondered why he didn't see it coming. Jeremy would not lie to Monique anymore, but how could he get what was in his head, out? Yes, it was because of you. But wait, I don't mean it like that. Jeremy could see the disaster already, so he tried another approach. "I decided I needed a change, to do some soul searching, and I had to leave," he started out, looking out in the distance from the way he came. But when he finished, his eyes returned fully to Monique's., a very soft smile appearing on his lips as he spoke. "And I did that because of you."

[monique bailey quentin]

Mona tilted her head a bit as she waited for an answer to come from Jeremy. She really didn't like the fact that he had looked away from her, but when the answer came she tilted her head to the other side. The smile returned when he looked back at her and said that it was because of her...but, not in a way that she had believed would of been the reason. She thought he had left because of a more horrible reason. That it was all her fault. But he wasn't really blaming her for it. Mona leaned up just a bit on her tiptoes to kiss him lightly on the lips with a smile "I am glad you are back, Jeremy." she said softly.

Of course, reality hit her hard as she got a bit of a glare into her eyes from the sun from something on her hand. When she pulled her hand away from around his neck to look, she felt the whole happiness disappear from her face and body and completely took a step away from Jeremy completely. She was to get married in a few months, being courted at the moment by a guy she could barely stand. Monique found a lump coming to her throat and she wanted to scream, kick and cry. The girl looked up at Jeremy, and tried to give a smile but knew she failed miserable at it "I-I'm getting m-married.." she choked out.

[jeremy roger hills]

Jeremy stared into Monique's eyes for a moment as it set in and she appeared to understand. Kissing her soft lips momentarily when she stretched up to connect their lips, he felt her smile as he did the same when she said she was glad he was back. Jeremy couldn't agree more. To be away from Mona for so long was hard enough, but to be away from home was even worse. His heart thumped at a steady but slightly hightened pace from the joy he felt from having the two things he missed so much in one day. And suddenely, it all slowly started going wrong.

Jeremy's eyes furrowed when he wondered why Monique was looking at her hand, a small smile still on his face. But it was wiped away and replaced with confusion when she stepped away from him completely. "Mona what's-" Jeremy was cut off when a panic stricken Monique told him with a stutter that she was getting married. Getting married. The words hit Jeremy like a ton of bricks. Usually, Jeremy would have exploded with anger and would start asking her question after question. But he was different now, and his mind worked faster. Monique was freaked out because she was getting married, and in love with the man. It must have been the human she loved while engaged to Jeremy. And now she didn't want to get tangled up with Jeremy, again. Her backing away meant she wanted to stay away from him. This is how Jeremy perceived the whole situation. When understanding lit up his eyes, he looked up and into Mona's with a smile that mirrored her attempted one, trying to lighten the darkening mood.

"That's great! I... I wish the best for you two. You must really love him." And with that, Jeremy turned away, walking back in town, thankful Monique wouldn't see his tears.

[monique bailey quentin]

Monique felt her heart squeeze with pain as she saw the attempted smile come to his lips and the words that came from it. It especially hurt when he turned away from her and began walking back towards the town. Her eyes went wide and she felt her heart skip a beat as she just stood there frozen to the ground. Growling lowly at herself, Mona made herself move and she jogged a bit to catch up to him, grabbing a hold of Jeremy's arm to pull him to a stop "No!" she yelled, shaking her head a bit as she kept a tight grip on his arm "I don't love him. I don't want to marry him." she pushed out of her throat.

If only Jeremy would of never left. Then maybe she could of kept this marriage from ever happening. A small sigh left her lips, as her hand slowly slid away from her his arm and went down to her side "He's arrogant, rude and so full of himself. The only reason he wants to marry me, is because it'll mean becoming alpha of his pack." she muttered a bit, looking away from Jeremy to stare down at the ground instead. She chewed a bit on her bottom lip, and felt her eyes burn with tears "I...I gave up hope on you ever coming back home. I gave up on everything I believe in. I cave into my parents demands to marry some guy I can barely stand to be in the same room with for even a millisecond." she laughed a bit, but there was no humor in it "And Ryan..." she shook her head "I don't think he ever really liked me. He's a human, after all. I should of never let myself feel anything towards him."

[jeremy roger hills]

Jeremy reached up quickly as soon as he felt the wet tears streaming his face and wiped them away. Hearing the running of feet, Jeremy would have stopped and turned even if Monique hadn't stopped him with her stong hold. He blinked at her single word as it was thrown vigorously in the air. No? No what? Mona began acting a bit strangely as her words followed up her denial. She didn't love the man she was to marry. Hadn't this happened already? Blinking again, with confusion this time, Jeremy almost asked why she would marry him but he knew the explained answer would come soon enough.

As she explained her dilemma with the man she didn't want to marry, Jeremy couldn't help but have a flashback of all the negative memories of before when he was in the position of Monique's new suitor. "Well, that sounds familiar..." Monique continued talking and explained that she had given up hope after Jeremy had been gone for so long. His heart broke further at these words, and he internally kicked himself, wishing he would have at least written her. Then she spoke of a Ryan, he assumed it was the human, and she wished her feelings back for him. Jeremy honestly did not know what to do. In situations like this, all he could do was act out physically. So he closed the small gap between himself and Monique by sweeping her up in another deep embrace. "I'm so sorry I left," Jeremy whispered to her after a moment. "I'm so sorry you're stuck in this again. This is all my fault."

[monique bailey quentin]

Sadly enough, it was all to familiar. She pretty much went through the same stuff with Jeremy not to long ago. But it wasn't as bad as this. Mona had actually had some fight inside of her, she had done everything she could to get out of that marriage. But this one, she had no fight inside of her. She went along with all of it, hiding behind the fake smile and if she cried while smiling, everyone believed it all to be tears of joy of getting married. But they were all wrong. They had been nothing but tears of pain. She felt so broken inside and it was killing her.

When he embraced her, Monique pretty much clung to him as if her life depended on it. She buried her face into his shoulder and felt the tears run down her face before she could ever stop them "Jeremy..No.." she said through a lump in her throat, as she lifted her head up to look towards him "I don't blame you at all." she sighed and reached up with a hand to wipe the tears away from her face "All of this would of probably happened whether you left of not. I...I just had no fight left inside of me anymore." and it was the truth.

[jeremy roger hills]

Jeremy held Monique tighter as he heard small sobs beginning to come from her. Couldn't her parents give her a break from all these arranged marriages and just let her fall in love and eventually marry the person she wanted? It angered Jeremy, but he didn't let it take control of his emotions. He shushed her quietly as he stroked her hair. Though Monique denied it was his fault, Jeremy knew it was. None of anything that happened would have happened had he never left. But still, Jeremy couldn't bring himself to regret. He just had to let whatever happen, happen.

"You need to stay strong. Have hope." Jeremy tried to sound as encouraging as possible, but he knew it was incredibly hard to encourage a person who has already been completely discouraged. He continued stroking her hair, sighing out his anger towards anyone who presently was hurting Mona. Pulling away momentarily, Jeremy looked down at a tear soaked Monique. Wiping the tears and hairs that stuck to her face, he leaned down to kiss her, and just before he did, whispered a small and meaningful sentence.

"I love you."